so,i'm finally here with a bang!bad to start off my first blog this way!
ohh!! my god!! I 've been thrown out of SURGE program!!!!this basically is a summer undergrad research program open for 2nd ,3rd year undergrads. we needed to propose a research problem that can be completed in a period of abt 8weeks.10 grants are to be given.it was probably thought that there will be a flood of applications for the program.so,it was initially proposed to ve selection in 2stages.but as fate would ve it been,very few applications were received and the profs decided to ve one round.now,my dear readers,comes the twist.the date has been preponed suddenly by a fortnight.!ohohoh!!! to be frank enough with u, i was not quite involved in some work in any particular field.i was harping all my hopes on this particular gap to prepare better in my topic --"speech recognition" .2 days to go now!! i ve literally no knowledge on this.on top of that i have to prepare for my midsems which r fast approaching.i ran to my prof,some phd students for some help.but i tell u my dear fellows,somewhere in my heart,the expected outcome is clear(hahahah!!)but then i gave my best shot and made a ppt presentation.now ,i had to present it infront of a half a dozen profs who ll be banging me with questions. the sheer imagination of the scene i m going me to be in is sending a shudder down my spine.the dday has arrived.i presented myself in front of them.they looked less interested than i expected them to be.as a kid,i used to be very nervous when it came to the question of speaking.but then i gradually lost all my fear as i grew up probably becoz i was forced to speak on many a occasion!i was quite comfortable as i was making my presentation.but then i thought,as the presentation progressed that my topic is not FOCUSSED enough to convince them.here and there,i was bombed with some questions(for which i had no answers,of course!!hahahah!!)i had to but give a sheepish look on those occasions!here and there i heard them giggling amongst themselves.it only reminded me of a story i ve read in literature course.there it was a policeofficer talking to a guilty minded,nervous murderer.the murderer,hears his own heartbeat and fancies it to be the murdered fellow whose body he has hid in the same room.he thinks that even the policeman knows the truth but he was only making a mockery out of him by smiling and chatting and waiting for the murderer to confess.am i in the same situation??did the profs already decided to throw me out and making a mockery out of me???god knows.but then i felt,after coming out of the room that i made reasonably good presentation exept for the tangible fact that the problem statement is not convincing enough and my knowledge was shallow!!ohh i felt sick!i knew for sure that i m not going to make it unless some miracle happens!but i tell u my dear readers,the world is not a place of magics and miracles.it's only reason that prevails.the results are out and the obvious thing happened!(hahaha!!) i was surprised to see only 8 grants as against the promised 10.i was pained to receive the result but then i said to myself that life is all abt accepting defeats and successes!
so,my dear fellows,iit is a place that gives ample opportunities for self improvement in all fields.it is as gruel to those who dont tap the opportunities as it is so friendly to those who do it.i m not at all broken!this defeat has only incresed my resolve.i m goin to stand up and fight hard to do something better than wat i would ve done in surge!yes! i would!!i would!!!